Review: Deadhouse Gates

Deadhouse Gates by Steven Erikson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

With a title that would make Metal-Heads proud, Deadhouse Gates brings the thunder that Thor can only dream of. Acting as a sequel with a mostly new cast can be a daunting task. Erikson proved with Gardens of the Moon that he can write numerous characters and give them enough purpose to stand out. What he had to prove in this book is if he could reel in his worldbuilding to a more coherent level.

Deadhouse Gates IS the book you want to read. It makes Gardens look like a collection of notes Erikson strung together, whereas Deadhouse reads more like a finished product. Refined. He does this while taking us to new places. He does this while involving us with tons of new characters. Sure, it's the same world. But there is a LOT more in it. Does having the setup from Gardens help? Admittedly, it does. However, I can't shake the feeling that you could almost read Deadhouse first and go back to Gardens after. Major plot details or references will not have as strong as an impact but I don't believe that would matter as the currency of the new cast is enchanting enough on its own.

The returning group consists of Fiddler, Apsalar, Crokus, and Kalam. The latter separates from the group for his own adventure. These characters didn't interest me as much this time around. They aren't the people I would have chosen to follow from Gardens. Kalam grew on me as his personal quest to kill the Empress was more interesting, Crokus was regulated to an afterthought compared to how he was one of the major characters previously. This bothered me at first but it isn't his book to shine. Towards the end, he has more moments but the focus is on Fiddler. I mentioned previously how Fiddler is a fan favorite but I still didn't take to him. To be fair, he's more enjoyable than reading Theon Greyjoy chapters in A Song of Ice and Fire, if that helps.

Two more characters join up with them eventually. Mappo and Icarium. Meh. Then there are Heboric, Baudin, and Felisin. They had a great introduction which excited me. Heboric and Baudin exceeded my expectations with their roles in all of this. Felisin is another matter. After what happens to Lorn in Gardens, Tavore takes over as Adjunct. She is one of Ganoes' sisters. She in turn sends Felisin to the slave camps to prove loyalty to the Empress. Felisin starts great and then turns into a bitch for almost the entirety of the rest of the book. In the end, some things happen, but that's a whole spoiler level I won't even go into.

The fourth part of the story is almost a continuous battle as Fist Coltaine leads an army and refugees to the city of Aren while pursued by a bigger army. The viewpoint comes in the form of Historian Duiker who was once a soldier and proves countless times that he's still a badass. His story gripped me time and time again. The final chapters outside of Aren are masterfully cinematic and equally soul-crushing.

Let's talk about Death a little bit because there is a war going on so you know people are going to be killed off. Erikson gets to me. He does. Some deaths I can see a mile away and still when that bell tolls I am defeated. A secondary character that had grown on me was someone I thought from the get-go was going to be slaughtered. Still, it was tough. One of the more shocking deaths happens much earlier and unexpectedly. It left me grasping whether or not it actually happened. The madman did it. For fans of books where everybody dies because that's just the way it goes in life, try Malazan. Merciless.

Unlike Abercrombie who writes all characters as edgy with their penises hanging out, even the women, trying to snarkily compare who has the bigger one, Erikson doesn't fall on gimmicks. You enjoy these people or you don't because they feel real.

The biggest change between the books is that Erikson no longer floods us with history lessons. Everything is much more focused. The motivations and goals of the cast are clearly defined in the beginning so we as the reader know where this all is going. Shadowthrone has a bigger role here too, but we are no longer bogged down by Oponn. Again, fewer notes, more finesse. I knew where people were headed. There were enough moments in all four plots that even if I didn't like, let's say, something going on with Fiddler and his people, eventually, something would happen that would make me proud I didn't give up on them. Every story was worthwhile in the long run.

Deadhouse Gates is a solid improvement over Gardens of the Moon although I still wouldn't rate it as perfect. This is more along the lines of 8 out of 10.

View all my reviews

Review: The Two-Faced Queen

The Two-Faced Queen by Nick Martell
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The worst part about The Two-Faced Queen is that it ended. 

Years ago, I was out dining with family when it was commented on that I always order the same thing and I was made to order a Filet Mignon instead. The irony here is that whenever we went to a restaurant that had Crab Cakes on the menu, that would be what my Father ordered after going over the entire menu. Without a doubt. Every time. When the food came, I noticed that the Filet was small and of course it was gone in a flash. That cut is considered to be one of the best. The perfect, most tender slice. The Two-Faced Queen is that Filet Mignon. If the book had been a quarter as perfect, but double the size, I would still have gobbled it down like the mortal enemy of cows that I am. 

I wish I had kept a log or filmed myself while reading this so that you could observe how many times I said "Jesus Christ!" or cursed. I can tell you that I read this on my Kindle and at 11% was my first Jesus Christ moment and around the 90% mark was a full-blown "What the ****?" This has shock, after shock, after shock, after shock. 

The Two-Faced Queen continues the story of Michael Kingsman while leaving the comfort so many book series find themselves in. There's a level many books find themselves in. Mistborn, for instance, even though the stakes get higher and the world expands has a constant feel to it. What Nick Martell does here is "I've already done that, this is where we are, and it's about to explode." Michael's redemption is prevalent but everyone comes up to bat in this book. Trey & Naomi have wonderful storylines. I was beyond excited to have the Princess be in the spotlight this time around as her brother was a force in the first book. Every scene she had in Kingdom of Liars always got my attention. Martell even threw in an appearance by Em, the Baker's daughter. He's smart enough to take us on a different adventure while reminding us we are still in the same world. Talented, damn it. 

And these people feel real. They aren't cardboard cutouts of generic fantasy characters. They curse and they **** and they tease and they hurt and they bleed just like the rest of us. Without having to kneel to the Grimdark side of things to have personalities. This is something newer writers should take note of. There's a way to express people without being a caricature. Evan Winter is another writer who is good with this. 

What was really badass this time around was that the plot includes both an assassin and a serial killer on the loose. They contribute to the craziness but there is no escaping the situation surrounding the Princess, Michael, and Dark. The mystery surrounding Dark is a huge focal point. You could easily argue for him to be on the cover of this book. Speaking of which, both covers are absolutely beautiful. 

God, so much happens in this book that it's hard to talk about without giving out other key information. As I'm rewinding it in my head I'm remembering other details that conveniently slipped away and must most likely be waiting for us in book three. I'm still stunned at some reveals. I even was so caught off guard at one point that I threw my Kindle down and had to get up from the couch and shake it off.  

Minor Spoilers: A few passing thoughts to close this out. Naomi this time around definitely gave me Maya Hawke-in-Stranger-Things vibes. You'll understand. There also must be something agreed upon by most writers putting out secondary books in 2020 (or early 2021) that all sequels must have more dragons. 

Overall, this is a solid book from a solid writer. The type of book we read for. I'm honored to have been able to read it early. 

I'll leave off with one of my favorite quotes from the book because I absolutely loved it. Spoilers only because it's wonderful to come across these things on your own as you read. It doesn't affect the story at all. 

There were two kinds of people in Symon's mind: Those who respected books and those who didn't. And anyone who fell in the second category would be lucky if they were erased by history rather than dehumanized. 

For what it's worth, as I can't have milk or eat Chocolate without suffering, the cows truly have the upper hand in our rivalry. 

View all my reviews

Review: Gardens of the Moon

Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erikson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Anyone who follows my reviews will know that I read under typically unfortunate circumstances. I have many kids and little time. I've mostly been on a reading sabbatical, which as a reviewer I deeply regret. Therein lies the question of why I decided to start the Malazan series as a way to bring myself back to form. Especially with everything I have against me.

You see, Malazan is considered to be a "difficult" series. I talked with multiple people shortly after I started as to figure out why this is, and it came down to a few reasons. The main, of course, is that it suffers from the same illness many fantasy series do. Unusual names for people & places mixed in with tons of worldbuilding. The Malazan series is incredible with its worldbuilding. Erickson excels in it.

The short prologue sets the story up a little bit but takes place many years before the events of the rest of the book. Once you get into the first chapter you are treated to rapid pacing and information dumps relentlessly. There's probably close to twenty characters or more that you meet in the first two chapters and they aren't the entire cast. Nothing in this book is done on a small scale. Those information dumps are purely all over your lap, your hands, the floor. I've been told to "get" the Malazan Series you would have to study it. Seriously, that was my advice. The only way it was going to work was to commit my all to it. Well, that didn't happen. And you shouldn't worry about that either.

The book starts us out with possession, then a massacre, an investigation, and an important battle. What could be troubling is that during these events, little things may be occurring that get referenced but don't come fully to light until afterward. Gardens of the Moon makes you wait for the payoff. What slowed me, in the beginning, was keeping up with all the names, titles, and places thrown at me so quickly because the book does not stay put. It jumps from characters and situations frequently. Enough to make me want to write down who is who and what they are doing, whose side they are on? No. I did grow annoyed when people had multiple titles or nicknames and those were used interchangeably without mentioning their actual name but that is only really prevalent in the first part of the book. Also, I'm still not sure how many one-armed people exist.

All of this changes once the first battle ends. We've met a good portion of the major characters or else heard about them and the format of the book abruptly changes. The pacing slows. We spend a decent amount of time with fewer characters and then move on to the next big set-piece. Or course, once there we get a whole boatload of new characters and more things occur but it's like hearing the same story but told by someone else. This shift happens in Chapter 5 so if you are on the fence about sticking with it, make it at least through that chapter.

I was very impressed with Erikson's ability to merge stories and connect his large cast. I call this the Tad Williams quality I look for in authors. Some people can do it, some people can't. Tad always wins. Erikson doesn't just give us a story but a rich history of the world with different species and cultures too. I have the full collection of books to go through and I know a lot of things mentioned in this volume will come up again and be expanded. It's a series that you can get lost in and even live in for a while to escape from everything going on in our world.

I'd seen somewhere that Fiddler was a favorite character for his humor but I didn't notice Fiddler that much in this book, and never for a laugh. I enjoyed Captain Paran as well as Crokus and the rest of his crew. Adjunct Lorn also grew on me throughout the book. Curiously, with the first two, they are the closest we get to generic fantasy hero tropes. I'm talking about a stable boy or kitchen hand. Paran was a noble that decided when he was a boy that he'd rather be a Soldier. Crokus is the nephew of a known writer (and more) who can land himself in the higher circles of society but chooses to be a thief. With a cast so large it's odd that I find the two easiest characters to enjoy, but they also are used as pawns to the Gods (one in particular) so the focus is largely on them. Lorn then is someone who struggles between her duty as the Adjunct who exists solely as the hand of the Empress and the person she is. The more I think about this the more I realize how I enjoyed many of the characters. Excellent job Erikson.

The main plot focuses on the Malazan Empire planning to conquer the city of Darujhistan which is secretly run by High Mages and has rival Assassin clans. An Assassin War is a minor part of the book. Complicating the Malazan Empire's plan is Anomander Rake who is the lord of the Moon's Spawn which is a floating fortress with a city within it. He had made a pact with an earlier city, that of Pale, where the first battle of the book takes place and jumpstarts the events. Despite being opposed to the Empire, Rake ultimately comes across as a third party. It's team A versus team B but team C is involved because so and so. Got it. He has his own cards he is playing in Darujhistan, and everything comes together as books do.

I enjoyed the ambivalence of the characters. Although you can say a couple of people do things only to deliberately harm others, actions are often brought about because of the situations they find themselves in. Those I swore were the villains turned out not to be so at all. Even the Gods we meet, because they play huge roles, are typical Gods. I would compare them closest to the Greeks. They come, they interact, sometimes they help, sometimes they ruin things, and then off they go. It's like watching episodes of Xena with more interesting immortals and a lack of lesbian undertones. Mmmm Calypso.

The worldbuilding was impressive but not entirely my thing. On a geographical scale, I didn't mind it. When we dive into the history of non-human races, the first inhabitants of the world, etc, I start zoning out. Rake, who in Gardens of the Moon is 20,000 years old, is a Tiste Andii which is similar in appearance to a Drow. Dark skin, white hair. His people have a backstory as they are one of the elder races and I wasn't able to connect with them. At least at the time of reading. Now that I'm done I do appreciate more their storyline. There are also the Imass, the K'Chain Che'Malle, the Jaghut, and others. Each with details enough to fill a companion textbook. I just wanted to keep moving with the story, getting to the top of the figurative mountain without doing the climb. This is me as a person and not a fault of Erikson. It's a lot of information but none of it is hard to understand.

What I'm getting to is that if you are interested in the series but hesitant, I recommend you try it out to at least the end of chapter 5. Don't do a ten-page in and skip thing. This is involved fantasy to the fullest extent and you will be rewarded, I promise you. Read on a kindle to avoid papercuts. Ten big books mean lots of opportunities.

View all my reviews

Review: The Return

The Return by Roberto Bolaño
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A series of person tragedies punctuated by a book I was looking forward to but ended up hating led me to take a sabbatical from reading. Its been difficult, the long road back to myself. Luckily, Bolano was there waiting. I don't know what will happen when I finish all his works. I try to save and sprinkle them throughout my reading stack. Maybe the world will end. It feels like that sometimes.

I read but didn't review The Romantic Dogs because I am not comfortable enough to have any specific views on poetry. Though I also try to stay away from short story collections, I owe it to Bolano to speak up. So, without beating around the bush anymore, here are my thoughts on The Return.

Snow - A story is told by a man whose family fled Chile due to them being Communist. They end up in Russia and he becomes a procurer for a Russian Mobster. One of the girls that the mobster wants is a gymnast who ends up in a side relationship with the narrator. Its kept hidden until one day the girl reveals the truth to the mobster who ends up beating the narrator but lets him live. It turns out to be a bad decision because our speaker then kills the mobster and leaves Russia. This isn't a favorite of mine from this collection but I've noticed other people refer to it among theirs. It IS a very easily identifiable Bolano story.

Another Russian Tale - A quick little story about a WW2 Soldier in a Spanish Division who is wounded, discharged, and accidentally sent to the wrong division. While it's being sorted out, the German division he is with gets captured and he is discovered by Russians. They torture him but the language barrier is proving difficult to confess his innocence. Eventually, they try to pull his tongue with pliers and he shouts the word "Cunt" but to their ears, it is "Kunst" which means Artist. Thinking he is an Artist, they end up letting him live, and eventually when the war ends he goes on with his life.

William Burns - An American is hired to look after two women who insist they are being stalked by a serial killer. He believes he found the guy per the instructions given to him by the women and ends up kidnapping the man's dog. The guy comes to the house and is murdered by the American. Later on, the American is killed. It's unclear, at least to me, if the man was a stalker, to begin with. The American doesn't seem to believe so at the end. He thinks it was a case of mistaken identity. I had the feeling that maybe the women intentionally misled him. Maybe the man was an ex-lover. They were very quick to start disposing of the body. I don't think a man looking for his dog would break into a house the way he does. Maybe this is all obvious to everybody else.

Detectives- A conversation between two detectives which ends with one of them recounting a story about Arturo Belano in jail. We've seen the other side of this story in another form, in another work. The back and forth between the detectives take a while to get us to the actual story here.

Cell Mates - The story of a man who begins an open relationship with a woman who is crazy. Both of them are former prisoners. I didn't take notes but I believe in this one the woman and one of her boyfriends try to murder a friend of the narrator.

Clara - Another relationship story. The girl develops cancer. In the end, she disappears.

Joanna Sivestri - A Porn Star does a shoot in Los Angelos. She visits an old friend, a former porn star, who is dying. It's clear he has AIDS but Joanna sleeps with him anyway which, knowing how the crisis was responded to in the early '90s, pulls me out of the story for lack of believability. Unless the point was she just doesn't care.

Prefiguration of Lalo Cura – Lalo Cura makes many appearances in Bolano's work. This story is about his mother being a porn star while pregnant with him.

Murdering Whores - A whore narrates. She kidnaps a man she's seen on TV and is about to murder him. If you notice at this point the stories tend to have a narrative running through them all.
The Return – The best story in the collection and one of the strangest and funniest Bolano ever wrote. A man has a heart attack while out dancing and dies. He recounts how he hated the movie Ghosts, especially the scene when Swayze first leaves his body, but that is exactly what happens to him. He follows his body to the morgue and is hanging around without direction until two workers take his body with them. The body is sent to the home of a famous Fashion Designer who doesn't sodomize it but gets off on it. Then our Ghost speaks and the Designer hears. After proving that he is the ghost of the deceased and not a hidden speaker, he decides to stick around with the designer even when his body is retrieved by the workers. An unlikely friendship has developed.

Buba - The story of a Soccer Team with bad luck. The narrator is a player who is injured in or before his first game. He ends up rooming with Buba who is an African. One night, Buba tells our narrator and another man on the team if they give blood to him he can guarantee a win. This starts a cycle that lasts all season and beyond. Buba always scores two goals, with the remaining going to them. Eventually, Buba is traded to another team and they end up beating the team the narrator was on. The book ends with the team, sans Buba, reuniting for a documentary. Buba had died in a car crash earlier on.

Photos - Arturo Belano looks at photos of poets and thinks about who he wants to have sex with.

Meeting with Enrique Lihn - Bolano, as himself and not Belano, has a dream he meets the very much dead Enrique Lihn who tells Bolano he admires him. There's also a case of double mistaken identity on the steps of Lihn's building which is an amusing step away from the main story.

How Bolano writes humans is what makes his work special. I can't think of one American author who captures our essence in quite the same way. How Bolano tells stories, and how he has his characters tell each other stories, is so distinct. There is a deeper emotional richness. Even lighthearted conversations have heavy undertones and that's what sticks out to me. Bolano is like an English Teacher's wet dream in that regard.

What did I think of The Return?
As with any Short Story collection, I like some more than others. My favorites would have to be The Return and Buba. The other stories were more commonly fitting with Bolano's style and that worked against them here. The Return and Buba were uniquely different and showed a side of the author I wish we got to explore more of. I have a mental block of Cell Mates and Clara beyond them being two very similar stories. The non-romantic in me could be the catalyst behind that one. Bolano is at his best when he writes these lost or broken people. As a collection, I like how the themes flow from one story to the next but the stories about porn stars and whores disengaged me. I'm not a prude. Trust me on that one. The first porn-related story was ok. I'm not interested in these people but moving past the sex there's a poignant story. Then the Lalo Cura story came. I think out of all Bolano's characters, Lalo Cura is someone I'm never big on. The Murderous Whores story was better, in a different sort of way, but if it had been a touch longer I think it would have been more interesting. So there are a few misses for me here. Is it enough to pull me out of my reading slump? Absolutely. Check it out for the title story.

View all my reviews

Review: The Romantic Dogs

The Romantic Dogs by Roberto Bolaño
My rating: 5 of 5 stars



View all my reviews

Review: The Trouble with Peace

The Trouble with Peace by Joe Abercrombie
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

The trouble with peace is that it does not last. People sitting idly tend to get bored. The trouble with this book is that *I* was bored.

This had been my most anticipated book of the year and ended up almost being one of the few books I did not finish. The first tenth of the book is dreadfully boring. The first half is continually boring with one of two really short moments (pages) that I enjoyed. The second half does get better especially the last quarter of the book. Twenty-Five percent of a story does not make up for the shortfalls of the rest of it.

Joe Abercrombie is very much in right now. As he has been for years. The book is going to sell well and people will worship the ground he walks on and a certain YouTuber will sing it's glory and get tons of new followers for it and life will continue as it has been. Remember, just because someone likes or dislikes something doesn't mean its bad. Out of all the books from Abercrombie that I've read, this is my least favorite and I feel it is the weakest. Is it? That's up to you to decide. He's going to make bank on it either way.

I didn't feel a thrill while reading this. Abercrombie has an ability to put you on a rollercoaster ride from the comfort of your favorite chair but I was so bored I decided to stop reading at one point and watch The Greatest Showman instead which was another dreadfully awful thing to sit through. People paid to see that so my opinion may count for nothing in the world.

I noticed that A Little Hatred gets some flak for being centered on a new generation. The Trouble With Peace, as it's the continuation, plays into that hand real hard. I didn't mind the new characters the first time around but everyone in this book came across different. Only one character ended up being likable (Orso) even though I don't remember him standing out much in the last book. He comes into his own in this one. Savine, Leo, Stour, Broad, even Rikke... I didn't care for how their development changes them. Savine and Leo especially.


One chapter about Rikke's struggles with the Long Eye allowed Abercrombie to do some creative styling with the storytelling. I guess you can say it was a chapter reversed. At first, I thought this was interesting but as the chapter dragged on I grew disenchanted. I think this is when I took my Greatest Showman sabbatical. Ugh. But don't worry because the always included continuously-changing-point-of-view-from-secondhand-characters which has become Abercrombie's trademark is here in all its typical violent glory. For those not in the know, this is when a character is stabbed, and then we follow the person doing the stabbing, then they die somehow and we follow their killer, and it goes on like this until we shift from the killers to observers and then go back to normal. When I finally got to it here I had almost forgotten he did these types of chapters.

Fans of Best Served Cold will be happy to see many connections here including what I'll call a cameo from a certain husband and wife team. I was disappointed that one of them is repeatedly mentioned when they didn't show up again in a more pivotal role. The players in this book are strictly the characters we were introduced to last time. We also learn more about Clover, who he is, and an interesting tidbit of what made him famous. I also miss Glokta centered stories. I started daydreaming at one point that maybe Abercrombie will kill him with an epic send-off. The original cast has been dead or is dying out in this trilogy but he deserves a little fan service. I keep hoping that the Bloody Nine will return even after the events of Red Country. The best ending for this new trilogy I could think of would be both Logen and Ferro returning to, pardon my language, fuck shit up. If that shit happens to be Bayaz, even better. 

Being a sequel in a series, specifically the middle book, you have to enhance the story of the original while leaving the reader wanting to get to the conclusion. For most of The Trouble With Peace the behavior of the cast was unreliable based on what I'd come to know of them previously and the main word I would use to describe the book is Wasted. The cast was wasted to tell a story of treason and betrayal that is expected, common, and unoriginal which are not words that I would normally use when Abercrombie is involved. I wanted more but got less. I had ambitious hopes but as mentioned above the only person I liked this time around was Orso. I'm not sure how Abercrombie plans to end the series and I'll read it for sure, but the days for idol worship of "Lord Grimdark" are over.

View all my reviews

Review: Dead Man in a Ditch

Dead Man in a Ditch by Luke Arnold
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The conclusion of our two-part Luke Arnold double feature.

"I don't believe in second chances. I don't believe you can undo what was done. But if I didn't believe I still had it in me to do something good, I would have jumped out the Angel door a long time ago."

In the sequel to Luke Arnold's debut novel, he writes the story I would expect and then slaps me in the face for getting too cocky. And this after I wrote his parents that lovely letter!

For his first novel I was caught up in the joy of reading it but for this read-through, I took tons of notes and kept analyzing what was written and working out where I thought the story was headed. Despite my best efforts, I turned out shocked, then furious, then uncertain, then a whole range of other emotions as things transpired that were entirely out of my control and not in the least how I pictured the story going. The last fifth of the book strapped me to a BMX bike and said "Here, good luck!"

Well, damn.

Which isn't to say the other eighty percent of the book is predictable. I was being very critical and going "Wouldn't it be nice if..." 

Is it his background in movies and television that taught Luke how to tell a story in this manner? Dead Man In A Ditch is a perfect complete package. If I was a teacher I would give it an A++. 

You can't have a title like that and not have a worthy body count. What a delivery. After taking a one-off job for a friend, Fletch is called upon by the police department to investigate a murder that appears to be accomplished with the use of magic. Between the two novels, rumors have sprung about that Fletch is the go-to guy for magic related investigations. They say he is on a quest to bring magic back. Fletch is still in the position we last left him in, so as readers we know he isn't misleading when he says he doesn't believe he can be much help. Magic is gone from this world. 

But Magic isn't always the answer.

Where in the first book Luke Arnold wrote about a world post-magic where inhabitants are struggling to find their places in the unnatural order of things, Dead Man in a Ditch introduces us to what could technically be referred to as an industrial revolution. It is mostly behind the scenes until it's not, but Humans have been busy since the events of the Coda. Fletch takes on a multitude of cases which ultimately put him in the midst of a battle that never truly ended, just changed forms. 

Last time, we viewed the aftermath of the Coda with a grittiness. The relationships we develop this time around or interactions we witness have a deep emotional quality to them. The suffering and loss which I mostly disregarded from the first book hit home here. The part with the Faeries has me still asking questions. I'll avoid spoilers but I wish we revisit this in a sequel. 

Somewhere in Luke Arnold's house is a very worn copy of a Mythical Creature Encyclopedia or else he has a very questionable browser history. I was excited to see a Goblin have a big role that didn't involve berserker rage or banking. Then came the Succumbae who do extreme body modification and steal every scene they're in.  There's also a Unicorn used unconventionally in a scene that brings the desperation we all felt when watching *that* moment in Neverending Story. It's not what you expect. And here I cackle like a madman. 

The majority of our supporting cast is back. Warren, Ritchie, Simms, Baxter, and others. I did notice an omission who gets name dropped at the very end of the book but had no role here otherwise. It was once I sat down to write this review that I realize books one and two are distinctly different. I don't know what type of contract was signed for the series. If it's write-as-you-go or if there is a planned three to seven book saga we are journeying on.  Outside of setting up Fletch with rumors of what he investigates, certain events from book one have no other connection to this story. Which is both a relief and a curiosity. On one hand, this allows us to branch out and explore the world without being stuck with one group of creatures over another. On the other hand, it means some people are out there running around doing who knows what. We don't, but it's not important. The bigger story does carry over and it really threw me. 

I knew what the stakes were, but what a way to break a man. 

Dead Man in a Ditch takes us to the seedier parts of Sunder City. On a job about a missing person, Fletch winds up at a casino and brothel where us readers are taught a new card game. I don't know our equivalent but it sounded fun, the rules are all there, and I anxiously want to play it. I'm making the call right here: Orbit should give Luke Arnold his own author page dedicated to the series and have a playable version of the game online. You can play against other fans, take which fantasy creature are you quizzes...the internet goes crazy for that stuff. Join the Opus! Join the Army! Join the Resistance! Join the Sunder City PD! Join the Library is what my badge would be. Geeze. 

What's up with all the Werecats? 

I googled it and according to Wikipedia: Werecat folklore is found on all continents EXCEPT Antarctica and Australia and is generally based on wild felines native to the area. Did Luke watch a lot of Thundercats as a child? 

Actually, correction incoming. What I thought was Wikipedia is a website called Wiki Fur which is ahem: the free encyclopedia written by and for furries. What dark hole did the internet drop me down to come up with that one? Well, you know what, that's google's top website on the creature so they would be the experts. 

Dead Man in a Ditch takes Fletch's past and brings it guns-a-blazing into the present. The momentum is explosive. When all the pieces fall into place it is a radiant, head spinning, page-turner of a novel. But what does it mean? What does it MEAN? 

It means when we aren't looking that the rug is going to get pulled out from under us. It means not everything that was lost is completely gone. It means there's hope. While some things will never be the same again, there is still a world. There is still a city. And however it will take him, there is Fletch Philips. 

View all my reviews

Review: The Last Smile in Sunder City

The Last Smile in Sunder City by Luke Arnold
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

In Part I of a two-part Luke Arnold double feature, we take a trip to Sunder City. 

Believe it or not, this is one of the few noir-style detective fiction books in a fantasy setting I've ever read.* That translates as: I'm not an expert on Noir in general. I grew up with my Grandfather who lived and breathed the genre. I didn't pick up too much from him there. I understand it from a stereotypical perspective which means an office and a sultry woman who comes needing help. There's no sultry woman here. What we have is Fletch Phillips: Man for Hire. He is a human in a world that was once filled with the fantastical. We don't know that quite yet.

The use of a sex education/your changing body video to introduce us to the fantasy world was brilliant. Up until that point, the book is a generic detective noir based on my limited understanding. Fetch receives a phone call in his office and goes to the school to meet the Principal who will offer him a job. Nothing at all prepares us for the essence of the story until we watch this film and find out the bodily changes consist of fangs for the girl and stumps growing out of the boy's back. It's then revealed this is a school for fantasy creatures. The Principal himself was once a wizard. But there's no magic and being a fantasy creature is meaningless. This is also explained in the video.

You see before our story starts there was an event known as the Coda. The Humans, including Fetch as a soldier, go to the source of magic to try to harness it themselves. They fail. What they did achieve is to cause the river to crystalize, suddenly cutting off all magic in the world. Wizard's spells were useless. Dragons and Wyverns fall from the sky. Elves age hundreds of years. Vampires no longer are thwarted by the sun but they also are no longer sustained by blood. Creatures lose everything that made them what they were. Now they were, even with different bodies, on the same level as humans who are the true minorities in this world but it doesn't feel like it.

If fantasy creatures were sprinkles, this book would be very crunchy ice cream. There are Sirens, Gnomes, Dwarves, Kobolds, Ogres, Trolls, Demons, Witches, Vampires, Elves, Dragons, Werewolfs, Werecats, Wizards, Banshees, Necromancers, and more. I am not sure what possessed Luke to throw almost every possible type of creature in there but wow. At the same time, the book doesn't feel crowded by all of this. If Luke was any bit of a novice writer I would be dismayed at interaction after interaction. It sounds like too much. Luke finds a way to populate his world without choking us.

I'm sorry. I can't continue this without writing a letter to Luke's parents.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Arnold,
It's common knowledge that you are well acquainted with Classic American movies. But are you acquainted with the classically American movie known as The Waterboy? It has a young Adam Sandler, Fairuza Balk being Fairuza Balk, and Kathy Bates does a dance routine in the background of the final Football game. It's well worth it. Towards the end of the movie, Ron Howard's naturally ugly brother Clint gives a speech to Adam's Waterboy character about how he is an inspiration to people who weren't born with natural talent, charm, or a fully functional brain. This is how I feel knowing your son is in the world. Clint breaks down crying but I will hold myself together. It is staggering that someone with this much capability and skill exists. You guys did a great job raising him.
Ever and Always, Alexander.

The detective plot revolves around a missing Vampire who is a professor of the school, and later a Siren who went to the Vampire for additional lessons. Fletch weaves through a changing cast of characters trying to solve this puzzle while also giving us insight into his background and why people react to him the way they do. He seems to have a history with almost everybody. He actually does. Without revealing it and spoiling the book, I will say that Fletch has a bigger hand in the loss of magic than is initially mentioned. His existence is one of atonement. He's not perfect. Addicted to painkillers. Hanging out in darkened bars. A little cocky and do-what-needs-to-be-done. I kept imagining Luke as Fletch. That's the benefit of having an actor for an author. He'd be perfect for it.

Of course, the mystery of those missing soon reveals a larger plot that will carry us through to the rest of the series.

In one museum scene, Fletch muses "A good man is made through a lifetime of work. Great men are made by their monsters." I love this line. He was referring to how the men who made history usually came in sets. Someone who does great deeds may or may not be remembered. Who cares about someone that does a decent or flawless job? If two enemies engage each other, they are recorded for all time. Think about it in our terms. FDR versus Hitler. Who was the president before FDR? Who rules Germany before Hitler? Who cares. It's the men in conflict we are interested in. And yet why I loved this line is because it made me think of Fletch himself. As I said, he isn't perfect but he is trying to do his best in a world that doesn't believe it needs him. At the same time, Fletch is his own monster. No matter who he faces off in future books, guilt and regret are his biggest adversaries. Men are made by their monsters.

Along with that, one of the central themes of this book is hope.

"I was fine with having nothing. Nothing to hold onto and so no reason to do anyone else any wrong. But give me a little hope and I'll show you who I really am."

"Maybe nobody gets better. Maybe bad people just get worse. It's not the bad things that make people bad, though. From what I've seen, we all work together in the face of adversity. Join up like brothers and work to overcome whatever big old evil wants to hold us down. The thing that kills us is the hope. Give a good man something to protect and you'll turn him into a killer."

See, it's the promise of hope who drives the narrative. In a world without magic, is there a chance it will come back? And what would you do in order to obtain it?

Luke Arnold, everybody. Again, wow. I had to seek this book out as I've had its sequel sitting in wait for me as I kept reading other books in my never-ending pile. When I learned who wrote Dead Men in a Ditch I decided to grab the first one. It's inconceivable how good this is. Top five of the year. Stick around for part II as I cover Dead Men in a Ditch next!!! 

*The other, of course, being the Bobby Dollar books by Tad Williams. They are Urban Fantasy Noir. The series is about the angel Doloriel who investigates as souls mysteriously go missing instead of ending up in heaven or hell. Book two has the greatest imagining of Hell that I've ever read.       

View all my reviews

Review: The Hole

The Hole by Hiroko Oyamada
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Sometimes I love exploring a book without having any notion of what it may be about beforehand. I saw that The Hole was written by Hiroko Oyamada and wasn't a fantasy novel which is a genre I gravitate towards. It's important to step away from habits every now and then. With that little bit of information, I ventured into this novella blindly and came out thinking what the hell did I just read which is a lovely sentiment.


This is a story that will make you think. Asa and her husband relocate to an adjacent house next door to the latter's parents to be closer to his work. Moving from the city to a town, it's inconvenient in the respect that transportation is limited and without a car the options are slim. Asa leaves her job in the city for the move but is unable to acquire work right away due to her husband using their only car for his work. She spends time walking to the grocery store and napping. Sometimes she reads. She explains that she lives from meal to meal as preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner are the only routine of each day. It's not too far off from how people currently are or were dealing with the quarantine. She's totally relatable. Asa comes across as directionless, trying to find some way to deal with her solitude. Her mother-in-law doesn't seem to like her very much, at least from what I can tell. Her husband's ninety-year-old Grandfather also lives next door with his parents. He spends his time outdoors watering the Garden. Or flooding it, rather.

Asa's life changes when her Mother in Law asks her to run an errand and she comes across a large animal. It's never stated what the animal is. It's big like a dog, but it's not a weasel or a raccoon. She follows it and ends up falling into a Hole. It's not too deep of a hole. Only 5 feet and her head sticks out level with the grass.

From this point on the book becomes highly open to interpretation. She is helped out of the hole by the neighbor that lives on the other side of her In-laws. It's hard to say exactly what is real and what is made up in Asa's head. Are the creature and the hole a metaphor for her own isolation and her interest in it an attempt to give meaning to her stunted life? I would say most likely yes. Later on in the story, the neighbor visits and mentions a name that was not her husband's. She corrects herself but after this slip-up, Asa meets a brother she never knew her husband had. He is not mentioned or referenced by anyone else in the family. I'm convinced he isn't real. I'll leave that for you to decide but the ending with her discovery of the Shed's condition, which is where the brother in law lives, convinces me I'm correct. He is similarly in the same situation as Asa. Someone who lives in isolation due to the decisions they have made.

There's also a pattern relating to children. Asa's coworker before she leaves her job asks her if she's going to be a housewife and get pregnant. She has multiple run-ins with children in situations involving her brother-in-law. Its almost like she's projecting having a child as an excuse to prove she's worthy of existing. Asa has to figure out what is going on with the town, the animals, the mysterious brother in law, and the truth about the family she married into.

Unfortunately, this being a Novella I feel talking more about it would require me to write the whole book here. It was very short. I'm hesitant to even call it a Novella. It took me around an hour to read it so if you are looking for something that is quick and makes you think, then this would work out well. I love how it is open to interpretation.

View all my reviews

Review: How to Break an Evil Curse

How to Break an Evil Curse by Laura Morrison
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Allow me to impersonate Stanley Hudson from the Office:


Fantasy is fantasy is fantasy is fantasy.

In other words, stop with the subgenres. Look, they exist for a reason. If you never get past what a book isn't, then you'll never appreciate a book for what is it.


Every other review I've seen makes sure to mention that this is a Fractured Fairy Tale or that this book is falsely advertised as high fantasy when it is really low fantasy. This makes me think of dog lovers. If I buy a dog and name it after your ex, will you like the dog less? This is a bad example for me because I don't like animals but hopefully you do enough for the point to still stand.

I liked this book until I hated it and then I learned to love it.

I had issues as well with typecasting. This book isn't witty enough to be The Princess Bride. It isn't clever enough to be Into the Woods. It isn't witty AND clever enough to be a Discworld Novel. Or silly for that matter. But it comes so close to all three that I realized that my attempts at disliking it for what it isn't overshadowed the brilliance for what it was.

What surprised me was that the story the book leads in with is not the story we end up with. There are two girls whose destinies lead them in opposite directions. One is due to marry the Prince. The other has no soul and is sentenced to exile in a cave after plotting to overthrow the crown with an evil wizard who happens to be the Prince's kind of best friend but not really. Conroy, the Prince, is shattered by Farland's betrayal. Farland goes one step further to announce that the firstborn heir of Conroy will be cursed to never be able to step foot in the sun or else they die. There are conditions to break the evil curse involving whom the heir is supposed to fall in love with because that's what happens in these types of books. We flash forward Nineteen years and follow Julianna, the cursed, as she works to escape her dungeon turned bedroom. She lives with three ghosts, one of whom accompanies her on her adventure. Our other main character is Warren, the curse breaker who is not the type to rescue a damsel in distress if you get my meaning. He is the son in a sea-traveling theater troupe who plays a few instruments and has morals but not muscle to rely on. His sister, Corrine, also travels with him to protect him after Farland makes an attempt on his life. Our two leads cross paths and rely on each other to set things right. There's also a subplot involving a revolution that develops throughout the book but is destined to find itself in the sequels.

I believe I saw, possibly in the dedication, that this book was originally made up as a bedtime story for the author's children. The beginning had that feel to it. It finds itself towards the middle when suddenly the book goes from humorous to humorously bonkers. The lack of seriousness mixed with weirdness is special. One example of this would be as Julianna is stalking an intended target to prove her worthiness in order to have access to a tunnel in and out of the castle *breath* the narrator mentions that the reason we are focussing on Julianna is that our other characters are sleeping. Just in case we wanted to still check in with them, the narrator then explains what it was like for them to be sleeping in the inn with details about noises they are making, and creaking, and restlessness. What other books can you name tells you that the characters are doing something as unimportant as sleeping but if you really insist on knowing proceeds to tell you anyway? The narrator, I will say, is almost as much of a character as the storyteller from Into the Woods. Little side comments make the book shine.

Another detail I liked was nearer to the end during a rescue mission, our group finds themselves trying to figure out the location of bodies of water nearby and there's a little post with a box containing maps of the area and it's clearly referential to the maps you find in forest and nature preservations. Paid for and provided by so and so.

Not everything worked for me. There's a basin and then vial of mixed Ravens blood which talks to specific people. I didn't care for that at all. One reason is that it constantly uses the word "Bro." Here is the biggest sin of the book. There are numerous uses of Man, Dude, Bro, and Yo. I'm sure there was something else I hadn't bothered to write down. It takes the silliness and sophistication of the book and knocks it down a few levels. I felt hatred in my heart the more I came across this. It practically ruined everything else on the page. Bro is bad enough but Dude has no place in fantasy literature, or even in the English language for that matter. I think we should vote it out but some of us have problems voting things out that don't belong.

I've seen critiques on character development. I don't agree. This book takes place over a short period of time and I do think Julianna and Warren are in different places than where they started. Julianna is a girl who wants to explore the world unknown to her but now sees the trouble within the kingdom and understands the people who speak out against her family. There's more growth to be sure but she openly opposes her father's totalitarian control and his desire for the big secret of the book to be kept hidden. Warren doesn't have completely as much development but I believe by the end of book one he is beginning to see that his fate has more in store for him. The plot of this book isn't as epic as people are arguing it should be but this is the start of the journey. Book One. We have the base of conflict and we have two villainous characters that we can enjoy with all their evil plotting. If you have trouble relating just imagine Tim Curry as Farland. That'll put this in perspective for you.

At it's worse points, I would have given it a three bordering on a two..but it pulled itself together and makes me want to read the sequel. It will never be perfect with the dudes and the bros, but I'll look past it for a lighthearted change.

View all my reviews

Review: Printer's Error: Irreverent Stories from Book History

Printer's Error: Irreverent Stories from Book History by Rebecca Romney
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

How do you talk about history, the history of books nonetheless, and make it sound interesting? If your answer was to get someone that is considered the antique book expert with the most pop-culture appeal and pair them with...someone else who wrote a young adult novel once...then you'd come to the conclusion of husband and wife duo Rebecca Romney and her lesser-known husband J.P.

Not to discredit J.P. of course. The reason I was so interested in this book was that when Googling Rebecca I had seen that she had written something and as she's witty and fascinating on screen I thought this would be astounding. It is. Although I do have an issue with the lack of information I could dig up on the book itself. It wasn't until I had it in my hands that I realized J.P. was even involved with it. Everything I'd seen online mentioned Rebecca wrote a book. Nothing more. Once I started to look up who J.P. was and followed the trail I found more references to him in relation to Printer's Error. This may seem unimportant to you but it does make a world of a difference.

Books written by multiple authors that are one piece and not separate shorter stories lead me to question which author wrote which bit. Some writing styles can flow together seamlessly. Other times you can pick up who wrote what relatively easily. Good Omens is an obvious example where I can tell what Terry Pratchett wrote and what Neil Gaiman came up with. That also has to do with how that specific book was written. I did manage to find one reference, either an article or a question that was asked of Rebecca on a social network. I cannot remember which offhand. She stated that the book was worked on equally with both of them penning the chapters. J.P. would write the biographical information and she would handle the technical aspects. Truthfully, I feel as if the bulk of the book was written by J.P. based on what I've seen from Rebecca both in how she acts on T.V. as well as how she speaks on Social Media. The focus on her may be a good way to sell the book and as a husband and wife team, she easily could have guided the whole thing BUT from how it is written there is a clear .... immaturity.

This is not a boring book. It is a book filled with historical information but filled with present-day references. It doesn't sound like you are in a lecture as much as in a coffee shop listening to a guy with a man-bun rattling off trivia while holding bubble tea in one hand and an FYE bag full of Funko Pop figures in the other. A lot of people have voiced their disdain for the language of this book. Look, I am a 32-year-old male brought up in the digital age. I have a cruel sense of humor and I bathe in immaturity. I was fine with all of it. It made the book more appealing to me. I'm completely willing to read a book that is serious and full of historical fact after historical fact. That wouldn't put me off. I was admittedly surprised when the jokes started to appear and the lightheartedness of the conversation took over. It was much appreciated though.

"All this could have been avoided if Gutenberg had just printed his motherfucking name on his motherfucking books."

The people discussed within the 12 chapters are Gutenberg, Johannes Trithemius, Thomas More, Shakespeare, William Blake, Mary Wollstonecraft, Charles Dickens, Mercator, Benjamin Franklin. and more. The above quote comes from the Gutenberg section which was largely about how nobody originally credited him for the invention of the printing press. This is the type of dialogue you will come across and I understand if people are put off by profanity and yes, the book tends to skew towards a younger audience who would understand the side comments the authors' throw-in. If I have my facts correct, Trithemius is a monk who spoke out against the printing press in favor of handwritten manuscripts and it is in one of his own printed works, because he is a man of contradictions, that he points out Gutenberg as the original inventor. Gutenberg, if you couldn't tell, didn't exactly flaunt his work. It took a much longer time to find out that he published a specific version of the bible and which exact version that was.

The book covers a select number of topics and is a very short read. Nevertheless, I am embarrassed to say that it took me two weeks to read what amounts to under 300 pages of the actual book with the rest being notes, an index, and acknowledgments. And this comes as I found it quite enjoyable. I cannot explain what happened but I did make it through to the end. Unharmed, and a little bit wiser. Some of the stories I already knew from other things I've seen such as the tale of Charles Dickens visiting America, hating it, and complaining about not getting compensated fairly because Americans liked to pirate foreign books. Newsflash: Nothing has changed. Just this morning I was talking with an author about his book sales and not two minutes later discovered his recently published novel on one of the many sites that the internet will never be rid of. Back to the book, Benjamin Franklin's chapter on how he made all of his money and started a massive printing empire in America was also common knowledge to me.

In the very beginning, there's a great story about a forger named Marino Massimo De Caro who himself was a rare book dealer. He managed to fake a copy of Galileo's work and sell it for a large amount of money AFTER scholars looked over it and confirmed the book was genuine. It took a Professor from the University of Georgia to realize later on that portions of this book did not add up. The scholars had to admit their fault to much embarrassment and De Caro was arrested. It's a high stake, thrilling, and comical intro to a book that would venture into religious topics shortly after. Anything religious tends to divert my attention elsewhere. Luckily, even those stories are worthwhile and I'd even say fun. William Blake's section was the weirdest. From things like God staring at him through a window when he was a boy to angels sitting in trees to communicating with his deceased brother and figuring out how to perfect Relief Etching and Engraving. He also claimed to be able to see the ghost of a flea and drew it as a 6-foot demon carrying a bowl of blood. What? Yes. These are the odd types of things I've found out in this book.

It is a good starting point for someone who really wants to learn about the history of books, printing, and some of the important aspects of the printed world. From it's invention to how it is advertised and became the household commodity we know it as today. We learn about how literature ties in and clashes with religion. We follow people persecuted and imprisoned for printing the wrong things and spreading the wrong information. We learn technical details about bookbinding and how the printing of maps changed rapidly as more details about or world became known. There is something in this for everyone. The sad part for me is now I have to hunt down other resources to learn more about the history of literature and printing as it is a topic I am interested in and I know most of what I'll find won't be as carefree as this.

I hope at some point there is a followup. More Irrelevant Stories from Book History sounds like a great title.


View all my reviews

Review: The Unfinished Land

The Unfinished Land by Greg Bear
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I am a firm believer that sometimes a book is bad only because it was read at the wrong time. Don't misunderstand me, a book can truly be terrible. But outside influences tend to weigh heavily against enjoyment. A good example of this would be when I read Blood of Elves. After discovering black mold in our apartment, we were forced to live in a Hotel room for six months while our entire building was remodeled. It was stressful and, with two young boys, almost impossible to give the book my full attention. I hated it and haven't picked up a Witcher book since.

The Unfinished Land falls into this category because I had suffered a medical episode while reading this. In fact, I spent the bulk of this book laying on the floor, covered in my own blood and when that wasn't going on, writhing in pain. The book was used as a distraction from what was going on but the reading itself suffered as a result.

I attempted to read two other books but neither held much interest for me. When I started The Unfinished Land I was instantly hooked. Something was intriguing about the way it was written. The best I could come up with was in the style of Classic Foreign Fiction, whatever that may mean. It probably doesn't fulfill that category at all. It reminded me of a lot of older foreign fiction I read from time to time, in other words. Or something you would read in high school.

Our story starts with a boy, Reynard, as he is struggling to survive on the wreck of his Uncle's fishing vessel. His Uncle, Cousin, and the other people on the boat all were killed when it came under attack by a Spanish Galleon. We are treated to flashbacks of what put him in this position, as well as one flashback where we are introduced to the man with the white shadow. He is rescued by the Spanish, specifically, an Old Man named Manuel. Their ship lands on an island and our story begins to take shape.

It is on this island that our story takes a sharp turn. I believe chapter two begins to mention Queen Hel, and then the Vanir and Aesir. As a Norse Mythology fan, I was all for it. But the book itself is extremely schizophrenic. I quickly began to takes notes from this point onward only to abandon it when my medical issues took hold. There was simply no way for me to keep up with everything going on because the book kept outrunning itself.

Numerous books handle large cast well enough for you to understand each person's motivations and believe they are a living, breathing entity. This isn't one of those books. Characters come at you fast and you meet others almost as soon as you leave the last. The island also has mythical creatures but not nearly enough for it to feel special. The book gets lost in its construction easily here but I'll try my best to summarize a few points.

The island, if I'm following this correctly, is a version of Tir Na Nog. Queen Hel is responsible for most of it but at this point, she is long gone. There is another part of the island ruled by the Sister Queens who later we meet as conjoined siblings. I'm unsure if there are more or just those two. There are tiers of people who serve either side, some of which are Those Beneath The Sky, Crafters, The Travelers, and the Blunters. Blunters are responsible for getting blood from Nymphs which will turn into Drakes in order to pair up with them. The Drakes aren't typical but instead are overgrown dragonflies. There are also Childers which to my understanding are faeries that appear as small children. If I am incorrect please let me know. I lost a significant amount of blood so please forgive me. There are also Eaters which are Vampires who eat Lifetimes instead of drink blood. Their victims age until there is nothing left. I enjoyed the Eaters most of all the fantasy elements of the book because they came across as the most developed. Sadly, I couldn't say that about anything else.

The writing style changes once we get to the island or at least feels like it has. The promise of the Aesir and Vanir is as incomplete as the land the book is about. I was hoping Queen Hel would be Loki's daughter as it was heavily implied but nothing becomes of it. Nothing becomes of a lot of the book. Other reviews, the few that I've seen, say that the book had no plot and went nowhere. It was my challenge in my incapacitated state to try to prove them wrong. I still don't know, ultimately.


I can understand why Manuel, really known as Widsith, is sent out from the island to discover what is going on with the rest of the world. Each time he returns as an old man, Calybo of the Eaters uses his power to rejuvenate Widsith back into a younger man. Reynard's role is constantly brought up as he doesn't know his part in all of this. In the end...well, without giving too much away I feel that the ending of the book was pointless as I don't truly feel Reynard had any importance at all. And as for the Island itself...

I wish it pushed harder into the mythological elements. We get a handful of creatures and way too many different people who speak what I'm assuming is old English. Lots of Doth, Thou, Telleth, and the like. Very annoying. There's a throwaway line somewhere where I believe it mentioned Elves and Dwarves but I didn't write it down and none are mentioned or appear. There's also a brief part that mentions Trees can walk and the people of yesteryear became trees. Truly something of interest in this story and it is not utilized. I believe the intention was that the Crafters of the land could create anything they wanted, creatures and places, but this fantastical island was an island first and foremost and fantastical as a minor afterthought.

Reynard and the group travel from person to person trying to get Reynard to a specific location where he would learn his purpose in all of this. That can qualify as a plot but again this is all poorly developed. Events are rushed together. Every time I felt as if I had a hold and understanding of the story, other things would happen and I would be lost once again. For what it's worth, the synopsis says that this will lead up to a war between humans and the gods but what Gods? And humans had come and gone on that island for centuries. Too many ideas and the wrong things are emphasized. Here's another example of something that went nowhere. Reynard for fans of tales and fables is obviously an allusion to Reynard the Fox. He's even referred to as such in the book. Reynard is not a trickster, nor do I see any other connection to the fabled character. So what was the point?

My favorite part of the book, as I kind of mentioned above, were the Eaters. I thought there would be a bigger role for these people to play but this book goes in whatever directions it feels like even if it means bashing itself against a wall. There is a moment where the Eaters board boats to leave the Island and I was reminded of the Elves leaving Middle Earth. Intentional or not, it was a pleasant connection.

I'm looking back and forth to the one page of notes I did manage to take and I've used none of it here because it wouldn't make any sense. I believe the story of this book is about the time of myths and legends dying and the world of man and science taking over. I could be absolutely wrong. For now, I am saying this book falls into a space between good and bad. It simply is what it is and I don't know if it knows itself what it's trying to be. Maybe it warrants a reread at a later date. It's a tough call. Finishing it was extremely difficult for me. Whether that is because of the blood loss, or pain, or if it is because the book isn't as good as I wish it to be is not something I could say at the moment. It's something to think about at least.

View all my reviews

Review: The Court of Miracles

The Court of Miracles by Kester Grant
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Les Miserables is one of the greatest works of literature in all of history. Arguably, the greatest. The Odyssey? That was a fun romp. War and Peace? Not enough Napoleon. The Bible? Dated. Moby Dick? Thanks for reminding me I can't swim. But Les Miserables...that is a book I would be buried with. It is a warm spot in my mostly calloused soul.

When I saw that Kester Grant had written a book called The Court of Miracles and that within its description were the words Les Miserables I stopped right there. I thought 'absolutely I would' as I rushed to the nearest ordering site, not caring about the huge to be read stack I had recently developed because between myself and Les Miserables there is very little else aside from time periods, and countries, and talent, and reality versus a work of fiction. Give me that French Lit, damn it!

The Court of Miracles takes reimagined Les Miserables characters and mixes them in with the Court of Miracles' underworld from the Hunchback of Notre Dame. There's a touch of The Jungle Book of which I don't know if that goes beyond the villain being known as The Tiger. As well supposedly there are comparisons to something known as the Six of Crows which I've not read nor need to because oh my God, did you not hear that this involves Les Miserables? Thank you. People, we do not need to go further.

I will. I like talking.

This is not your verbatim Les Miserables. Ultimately the work has been deconstructed and characters, places, and events have morphed to fill their own story. I debated with myself whether this book needed to use those same characters or if it would work as an original piece of its own. If you changed the names I wouldn't say the story would have been hurt at all. Then I realized that by invoking those characters it made something magical and it does enhance the story.

Les Miserables is memorable for its wide breadth of characters, among other things. It was an interesting choice to not feature Thenadier's wife in this and instead make Azelma an older sister instead of younger. It is an important change as her actions set our plot in motion. Thenadier I will never imagine as anyone else but Alun Armstrong. There is a layer of shadiness to the character that doesn't come across in the musical as much as it does in the book so I appreciate Kester for bringing that side of the character to the forefront. Valjean is included as well but he is not our star this time around. He has his moments and one great scene for comic relief later on with Ettie, who is our Cosette. You're probably wondering about Javert who is such a shining and I guess you could say falling star of the original. Maybe you are imagining Philip Quast or Nieves who was the kid who portrayed Javert in my High School's musical production. You couldn't be more off. Javert in this version of the story is...Gender Swapped! And rightfully so. The original Les Miserables was very masculine and very white and there's not necessarily anything wrong with that for what it was but the world isn't copy and paste. I understand that it might be a historical inconsistency by having a female inspector in Paris at that time but I don't know that for certain and this is a work of fiction so let's suspend our technicalities.

The heartbreaking and widely unappreciated Eponine becomes here a strong, thriving woman who finally gets her due. We forget how in Les Miserables Eponine starts with fancy dresses and somewhat of a luxurious life at the inn, compared with the treatment of Cosette that is, and then becomes rags, bones, and a secondhand thought. Hers is a story of unrequited love and sorrow. I personally am so happy that she was the choice of the main character here. I think it also says something that in facing the abuse they grew up with the only option of escape is to join a criminal society made up of the Wretched of Paris.

Notably absent is Fantine, who is kind of mentioned but unimportant, and Marius.

Thank God.

In Les Miserables, it is the story that revolves around Marius that is fascinating and nothing about Marius himself. The sections on his Grandfather, Father, and Thenadier's Coat. The sections on the revolution and the barricade. Even in his own love story, he is the weakest part. Kester obviously saw this and did a whole CeeLo style Forget You to his character. And we don't even miss him.

I am not a fan of love stories. I make this very clear. Don't worry, I have four kids and earned at least three of them. As happy as I was about Marius not being included, Kester triples the dosage and gives Eponine three suitors to choose from. Now, in all fairness, Montparnasse is involved with Eponine in the original book as well but it's not much of a highlight in the story especially in the shadow of the love triangle between Eponine, Cosette, and Marius. His character resides mainly in the background compared with everyone else. I LOVE that Kester pulls him forward and makes him a Master of the Guild of Assassins. It is the perfect role for him. He's creepy in that thrilling, dangerous sort of way.

Another suitor is the Dauphin. Early in The Court of Miracles, Eponine steals one of the Crown Jewels from his neck while he is sleeping. He awakens and she hastily kisses him as a distraction. Their fates dictate numerous encounters and we discover that not only has he always kept thinking about her but he does so every night. Comme c'est scandaleux! Garcon Pervers!

Our third choice is Enjoras who takes the Marius vacancy but fills it with courage and steel determination as the leader of the doomed students. A moment later on sees the Little Fall of Rain scene from the musical turned on its head. Don't expect the obvious as multiple characters have their parts traded to different results. I'll also point out here that Gavroche isn't a blood relation to Eponine in this reimagining but does have a moment on the barricade. Both Enjoras and the Dauphin serve as comic relief in their multiple run-ins with Eponine whereas Montparnasse is in another league. Almost literally as he's a killer.

Luckily for me, these relationships aren't as integral to the story as the Cosette - Marius pairing from the original. There isn't a one-and-only true love/this is our destiny story. I have a much higher tolerance for Eponine. No gagging required.

The Court of Miracles gets me excited. I was truly hoping for an appearance by Clopin Trouillefou for a complete Hugo crossover experience. If I trust anyone to do it, it would be Kester. That isn't the case here but it was truly wonderful being among the Wretched. This is a retelling of Classic Historical Fiction but Fantasy Genre fans will be all over the Guilds. I can already picture the Which Guild Do You Belong To quizzes and the additions to everyone's Twitter Profiles. They are (The Guilds of) Beggars, Assassins, Mercenaries, Chance, Smugglers, Letters, Thieves, Flesh, and Dreamers. Each Guild has a Lord or Lady in Charge followed by a Master. The Guild leaders offer protection and strength to their members. Members are not permitted to enter the houses uninvited or even know their locations. They also are not allowed to physically attack a member of another Guild as it will be considered an act of war. Having the protection of a Guild is major.

We spend most of our time with the Beggars and Assassins, the Ghost, and the Bats. The Thieves Guild which featured prominently in the beginning serves mainly as background to Eponine being a Thief. One of my surprises was that Femi, who is a Messenger allowed to travel to all of the Guilds, isn't a major player in our story. He brings Eponine to the Guild initially and then makes three or four short appearances later on. I assumed as he was close to Azelma that he would remain important. Lord Orso of the Ghost, a.k.a. the Dead Lord, is fantastic. After this first book, I believe the Ghost are my favorite of all the Guilds. Of the Assassins, Montparnasse of course is great but Lady Corday is mesmerizing.

The monster of our story is the Tiger. It would have been easy to put the Valjean/Javert narrative at the forefront but their quarrel is yet to be fully explored. I say yet because I am demanding a sequel. Many sequels. And organizing sit-ins and protest until the publisher gives in and manufactures syringes full Court of Miracles Serum because I do believe I am an addict spawned from my love of Hugo and the incredible talent of Kester Grant.

Pause. Breathe. Finger Snap. Back to the Review.

The Tiger was sold by his father when he was younger and grew up into a ruthless slave trader. Eventually, in an act of proud defiance, he demanded to be one of the Lords of the Miracle Court but there was no Guild for him to control. He was spoken against by the Lady of the Flesh Guild and organized a plot to overthrow her. Ultimately he alone breaks the laws that all the Guilds agree upon and everyone fears him except for Orso who is the one Lord that is willing to stand against him openly. This is all backstory I'm giving you. These characters are very developed.

The plot of the Court of Miracles sees Eponine first attempt to trade Cosette for her older sister but in finding herself unable to condemn her to that life seeks to protect her from the Tiger. It is a whirlwind of a book which sees a new rebellion rise in France, Guilds pitted against one another, and finally Eponine getting the recognition she deserves. The Court of Miracles not only reimagines but also reinvents 1828 Paris. It is exciting and fresh. Most importantly, this is a book that a new generation of readers will appreciate and feel inspired by. If they decide to go back and read the books that influenced this one, all for the better. I'm glad for it to have crossed my path and will be following Kester Grant at a distance of Six Feet because that is all the Government permits us to at this time.

*And yes, that was a suicide reference.
** I try to always use the Author's last name while writing reviews as I believe it is more respectful and professional but felt Kester flowed with the sentences better than Grant. Please forgive me.


View all my reviews

Review: Summerland

Summerland by Hannu Rajaniemi
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Hannu Rajaniemi is a writer whose works are fun to read because of his technical brilliance. I will admit upfront that this is only the second novel of his that I have read. Many years ago, multiple people suggested the Jean le Flambeur novels to me. I was astounded by the Quantum Thief and excited to read the rest of the series. I fooled myself into believing I could trust myself to jump around to other books and eventually the rest of the series ended up on my never-ending stack of things to get to. Not every story you read in life will stay with you, but The Quantum Thief is still as vivid to me as it was hundreds of books ago. That's how memorable Hannu Rajaniemi's writing is.

Summerland is often compared to Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy which is a movie I haven't seen and a book that bored me enough to not finish. I would love to give it another go someday but haven't been encouraged every time my eyes scan the titles of my to-be-read. Summerland has sat in that pile for quite some time. After reading three terrible digital review copies in a row I found myself picking a book by random to pull me out of the funk and Summerland was the winner.

It is classic Rajaniemi. Maybe I'm not qualified to say that just yet but he is a writer whose readers tend to agree about his strengths. That being said, Sometimes his writing can be a bit dense. If you are looking for something breezy and lighthearted I wouldn't suggest this as too casual. Remember, Rajaniemi is a sci-fi writer. If you want an example, how many of us know what the word Quantum actually means? He has a Ph.D. in Mathematical Physics. Summerland is absolutely a Rajaniemi novel to the fullest extent.

The story is set in 1938. We are introduced to Rachel White who works for the British Secret Intelligence Service. A meeting with a Russian defector takes a wrong turn and right before murdering himself he decides to reveal to Rachel the identity of a mole in the agency. This seems to be the controversial aspect of the novel reviewers complain about. Most of them from what I've read discuss how a spy novel should develop into you learning the identity of the mole. By naming him in the first chapter you lose your chance to tell a thrilling story of discovery and back and forth action. I didn't mind this at all. I did not view the story as mainly about the spy agency. I categorized that as a subplot. I was much more interested in Summerland, it's creation and "mythology". That was the focal point of the story for me.

The book alternates chapters between Rachel who has gone rogue after being demoted and Peter Bloom, the Summer Court operative who is our mole. The difficulty in Rachel's mission lies in the fact that the Summer Court is part of the afterlife. She's chasing an agent who is dead. Summerland isn't our afterlife. Not in a conventional way. I would more closely associate it with a limbo of our own design. It was figured out years ago that the British were able to maintain a form of their society in the afterlife where the best and brightest would have an infinite amount of time to hone their skills and share their gifts with the world of the living. Despite the honorable intentions, it is mainly thought of as a city of luxury. Barely anyone dies anymore in the conventional sense of the word. As long as you have a Ticket your soul will be brought to Summerland where you can continue on your existence without the restraints of truly being alive. It is not without controversy.

"...Having a Ticket will be the only thing anyone cares about. Not studying, Not working, not doing the right thing. Nothing real."

Those who exist in Summerland are able to communicate with the world of the living through different means. Throughout the book, we witness Ectophones which are exactly what they sound like, cross-dimensional telephones. They also can rent the bodies of Mediums to use for meetings and special events. Another option would be to inhabit lifesized dolls. There's a particular Edison doll that gets used at one point for creepy effect.

I envisioned this to be very similar to Bioshock Infinite albeit a touch more modernized.

The Russians on the other hand have a different means of an Afterlife. Lenin has died and his entity has become The Presence which is a form of God. Those who are chosen can have their spirits attached to his upon death and become part of the collective of the Presence. Peter's turn against the SIS is linked to his desire to join the Presence instead. A goal to go from one afterlife to the next. But there's more.

Being in Summerland is not the end. Inhabitants in Summerland are at risk of Fading, or true death. Sometimes they lose a ton of memories all at once. Sometimes they'll lose one every few years or none at all. A death in Summerland would equate to true death even if it is unlikely to occur. It does happen. Some people have faded so much they exist as almost formless entities. Some have ghostly bodies with no faces. In Summerland, you can thought travel, maintain any appearance you want barring the fading process, and can see emotions in other people's minds.

This book has layers upon layers of depth to it. Rajaniemi put a lot of work into building this world.

"Your father and I want you to grow up in a world where it matters to be alive. We want you to learn to care about this world, about sunshine, about other people."

The amazing story that is told in this book isn't the tale of espionage. It is the emotional crux that is Peter Bloom and his struggle to find meaning in any form of existence. I found myself not caring about Rachel or her struggles. Even her backstory is mainly told when she's talking about her life to others. Peter's sections are more personal. Whereas Rachel tells Peter the story about her miscarriage, Peter's past takes up pages upon pages in multiple flashbacks. His quest is a struggle to find answers amidst a world where answers are meaningless. This is his motivation for wanting to join with the all-knowing Presence. It is so much more complex than I am spelling out right here but some books you have to discover on your own.

In this alternate 1938 world, Rajaniemi intertwines his fictional world with people who really did exist. Roger Harris, Mansfield Cumming, and even Josef Stalin all have critical roles here as the Russians and British plot to take advantage of the Spanish Civil War. It is a fantastically researched and unconventional twist of the classic spy format. I would recommend this book to everyone.

View all my reviews

Review: The Forest God

The Forest God by Jamie Lackey
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Forest God is a pleasant short story that I imagine could fit in any modern collection of fairy tales. I'm very fond of it as it brings me back to stories from my childhood. Not everything in the world has to be a grand epic. As I read I thought this would be a perfect story to read in class. As a fairy tale, it is enjoyable for people of all ages.

In short, it is the story about a Witch's Apprentice and a Young Noble whose paths cross one day. The Noble has injured a Hare which is the current incarnation of the Forest God. The Forest God is healed by Margery and neither of them takes to the Noble, Hugh. He insists on being part of a spell so that he can apologize to the Forest God. From there, their relationship unfolds as it is revealed Hugh's family are unapproved lords of the land and Hugh must undergo three tasks to get the Forest Gods' approval. The tasks are to collect a stone from the river, to shoot the heart of a deer mid-jump, and to collect glowworm samples. Margery has self-esteem issues due to being taken away from her family when she was ten as well as everyone remarking about how ugly she is. The Forest God and Margery bond quickly and he begins to question if becoming domesticated is good for him. As the story progresses we discover what happened to the Witch's last apprentice, why Hugh's parents are cursed, and the real reason for Margery being chosen. The two are also forbidden from falling and love and acting out on that. Margery must become a Witch and Hugh must become the Lord of the Land.

I would recommend this story particularly for fans of Neil Gaiman. It has that classic fantasy feel to it with a dash of innocence.

View all my reviews

Review: The Wrack

The Wrack by John Bierce
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Plague stories don't particularly interest me. You would think they would with the abundant deaths and misery. I haven't come across too many. The best I can think of would be Mask of the Red Death by Poe. I'd seen Outbreak once in Middle School and have never watched Contagion. I don't go hunting them down is what I'm trying to say. My willingness to read this one was because it sounded different from everything I've read in recent years. A plague set in a fantasy world that didn't revolve around rats. How did it fare?

The Wrack is a shipwreck in a perfect storm. It was a struggle to get through this when it should not have been.

I believe the reason why it took me three days to finish this instead of what should easily have been one short night was the structure of the story itself. The story of the plague as it develops is nothing to argue with. It is the choice to make each chapter its own short story with self-contained characters that wounded my interest. Further in that respect The Wrack also doesn't adhere to that rule either.

The first few chapters of the book focus on certain characters as the plague starts to affect those around them. The king's son is the first victim and it is initially believed to be the work of poison. A healer is summoned who quickly realizes that this is a sickness whose cure is beyond their reach. A plague. It becomes evident that they are in grave danger and the healer rushes to dispatch a warning as well as alert the King his son is dead.

After that start, you would imagine that this book would be remarkably good. It is an excellent beginning. Things become jumpy from here on out. I was hooked, armed, and ready. I stood on those frontlines waiting for greatness. Then I was forced to sit down. As I type this I'm reminded of so many unresolved storylines. It hurts because what we are given is good. The problem is as soon as I become invested in these people, their chapter ends and I'm given over to others. If this book was intended as a collection of short stories that would end each section with the horrors of the plague as it affects each group of people, that would almost have been better. The use of certain characters for multiple chapters, then dropping them for most of the book, only to bring them back later on for one or two more, then to drop them again before the ending results in a very jumbled feeling book.

Out of all those random middle chapters, two particularly stood out for me. One of which three people travel throughout a city going door to door to record the names of the deceased. There is a poignant moment when the person who had been doing the writing realizes his book has no more room and after being kind and composed the entire time to those suffering he finally loses his calmness and runs off screaming. One of his partners picks up his abandoned book and returns to the temple to get a blank notebook and only then does she feel the weight of what she is truly holding. The weight of their souls exists in those words. Otherwise, they would be lost. Only memories to be erased.

The other involves crew members on a ship. They discover a ghost ship filled with the dead. One member wants to burn the ship while another wants the crew to take it and return with two ships. Words get exchanged and they duel to the death. It is an odd story because the two crew members are a man and woman who it is believed are interested in each other. The instances from getting along to a sudden death match come quickly, and then the female remains after having stabbed her once-possible suitor. In the end, with the help of another crew member, they carry the fallen up to the ship's crows nest so his dying sight can be of the land. I'm not sure why this story spoke to me especially as none of these characters return or are mentioned in the rest of the book.

Much of the chapters are short and, to me at least, were irrelevant. When we finally return to the people who interested me at the beginning of the book, strangers come into the town and declare the nobility has to pay and atone for their deeds. This goes nowhere. There's also a mist that contains monsters which is also largely unimportant except for I believe in the end it's revealed the monsters transmitted the Wrack to cattle which in turn affected everyone else. Talk of these monsters comes up a few times in descriptions but there's no larger story about these creatures. With all literature, we get the story that is told to us. What I wanted was a larger conflict. It was a cool idea that didn't amount to anything.

Another moment that bothered me was that at the beginning of the book we are introduced to a Seer which are people with special sight gained through the use of various gem glass eyes. It is mentioned that not a lot of people are willing to become Seers because of the cost of losing an eye but throughout the book, we are introduced to quite a lot of them. It is something that stuck out and dragged me through the rest of the book.

After the first few chapters, we meet Yusef. His introduction made it seem like he would have a great presence in the book until he tells his daughter to investigate the plague in his stead. He does have one more chapter later on in the book but then disappears from the story forever. His daughter is another sporadic character that has her chapter and then disappears largely.

The plague is what connects these disjointed chapters but it doesn't pay off. Not when the inhabitants of this world are interesting and I want to read more but there is not enough. That's the fault in this book. It is only twenty-five chapters when it would have benefitted from being fifty or sixty. I wouldn't have minded all of the single stories if the main ones were fleshed out more. The Wrack doesn't reach the promise of what it is capable of. The writer took me to the Cheesecake factory, sat me next to the case, and wouldn't let me order a slice.

View all my reviews